Cat calling

Mar 21

6 min read

Cat calling as i've always known it or Street harassment is a form of harassment, primarily sexual harassment that consists of unwanted comments towards people they don't know, sexualised comments, whistling to attract attention to themselves, provocative gestures, staring, checking out people's appearances, tooting a vehicle horn or ringing a pedal bike bell for the wrong reasons.

Ignore the fact that i've used a stereotypical builder in my image above, my bad, who in the past has always been the first to give a little shout out to the girls, next in line are taxi and van drivers. M y own husband even shouted out from scaffold over 20 years ago in my direction not realising it was indeed me walking past his site and I still bring that little gem to the table every now and then. Times have changed and building sites now have regulations that have nipped a lot of this behaviour in the bud, along with builders crack and covering up on site, not to mention the use of sun screen.

It doesn't mean that cat calling, general poor manners and street harassment has disappeared, this is far from the truth.

I remember watching a Youtube video called Street Harassment Video Goes Viral – But Is It All Harassment? this was made ten years ago, time flies. I then watched one made by a male to highlight it's not just women being subjected to calls and harassment. The short clip is called: 3 Hours Of "Harassment' In NYC! both worth a quick watch. I'm wondering if this experiment was carried out again present day, would behaviour be as bad or would it have improved? I then watched 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Man but after watching it realised it's definitely a cheese take, created by men to poopoo the serious issue of street harassment.

The non profit organisation fighting street harassment was called Hollaback. They used an actress called Shoshana Roberts and asked her to walk around New York City for ten hours while a hidden camera documented over 100 cat calls directed at her, she also received whistles and lip smacking. The video received a huge amount of discussion setting the internet alight with positive and negative comments. Some comments were empathetic, with others stating that cat calls do not equal harassment. Shoshana Roberts received actual rape threats as a result of the video and the controversy that it sparked. Rape threats, have I read this correctly?

The female in the clip Shoshana wore a black t-shirt and black jeans receiving ten comments per hour, imagine experiencing that behaviour day in, day out, just going about her daily business, trying to get to work, get her children to school, get food shopping. The same goes for the man in his video wearing a t-shirt and jeans, he received a wave of comments too. We cannot determine how a person will receive a cat call, a compliment, a greeting, a put down because we do not walk in their shoes, we do not know what is happening in their life. For some, this kind of behaviour is frightening, it's isolating, it might spark reminders of traumatic experiences.

A few weeks ago my sixteen year old daughter left the house early morning to go to her weekend job. I heard a man calling out to her, he'd been partying all night and was stood in the doorway of a property opposite ours and asked her name. She told him! I'm so annoyed still! So i'm in my bedroom and can a man calling out her name over and over and then asked her to come inside the building. I flew out of my house so fast and saw a man in his forties, still drunk, smoking, laughing to himself, still calling after my little girl who was walking away. I gave him a piece of my mind then called my daughter on her mobile to ask if she was okay and then to ask her why the heck she gave him her name, after all of the talks we'd had. They don't listen, they really don't and I was disappointed.

It's the what ifs that get to me, what if she'd gone inside the house, what if he'd locked the door behind her, what if she'd asked to get out and he hadn't let her. I hope our chat sunk in but she has a 'it won't happen to me attitude' regardless of the stories I show her on social media.

I've mentioned it before but the man I worked with would comment to his colleagues and to me about members of the public, it wasn't as subtle as calling out, doing that in uniform would almost certainly get you reprimanded and hopefully sacked, but the comments were there under his breath "look at that, I'd shag that, she's a 6/10, watch this bodyworn look at the state of her, have you seen how hairy her arms are, she's a right lezza, scissor sister, smile, old aren't you, said she was raped but they found too many samples of semen in her pants".

As a female working in a predominantly male environment it's very hard to call this behaviour out. I love a dirty joke and am probably the one laughing the loudest, behaviour like my colleagues isn't general happy banter, it isn't a happy inclusive working environment, I'm not at work to look good for some chauvinistic, misogynistic, ugly male colleague with too many opinions about women, I am work because i'm a survivor of domestic abuse and wanted to help rid the world of it and here I am living amongst it.

The same man then came out on a works do and assaulted me and a few others. I spoke out and colleagues ignored me. One female officer even said "oh i like XXXXXXXX, it's just how he is". He's basically conditioned us all to think that he's jack and lad, a right laugh, work wouldn't be the same without him would it.

I kept speaking out and I kept being ignored until one person finally listened to me.

Where does banter, cat calling and street harassment start and where does it end?

He is no longer working for the Police!

Getting help

If you are in immediate danger or it's an emergency call 999.

You can make an appointment to see your doctor, they will be able to signpost you to help, it will also act as a record and if you are injured, the injuries can be documented with your consent.

'Injury capture' app - download from Google and App stores

An app that lets you record injuries sustained during domestic violence.

If you can't add the app to your phone because of safety reasons, ask a trusted friend to keep the app on their phone.

'Bright Sky' app

Looks like a weather app on your phone but once opened takes you to a supportive webpage that lets you document incidents, capture images, seek advice and get support in your area.

If you would like to report an offence then contact your local Police force.

They will be able to guide you through the process and go through your options, our first and main priority is your safety and wellbeing.

Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge

0808 200 0247

www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Institute for Addressing Strangulation (ifas.org.uk )

www.ifas.org.uk

Refuge - National Domestic Abuse Helpline

0808 200 0247

www.refuge.org.uk

Galop (for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people)

National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline