In court and being listened to

Jul 29

6 min read

As a Police officer, i've given witness evidence in court a number of times now, it's daunting, sometimes I sat there waiting for days waiting for my turn. Once on the stand my evidence was scrutinised, I got asked a series of questions trying to trip me up, under pressure I said something I didn't want to say and I couldn't go back and clarify my point, under pressure and anxious and made to recall something from a few years ago is the norm and it's a totally absurd system. I walk away thinking, my god, no wonder people don't report serious crimes.

The accused doesn't even have to speak, they can sit there and say absolutely nothing. Again, what a totally screwed up system. So the victim has to fight for the right to be heard and believed, along with their witnesses and the accused just sits there.

Victim blaming, victim shaming, victim scrutinising, hey if this hits the press someone might even approach your friends or get into your social media accounts and publish a pictures and stories from your past. So as well as the trauma of an attack, a rape, a murder, an assault, revenge porn, the list goes on, you also have the trauma of attending court.

I'm not selling it am I.

I have a slighty more positive story. I finally had my day at a tribunal, I was the victim of a sexual assault along with two other colleagues of mine. So I gave evidence as a victim and quite frankly I found it liberating. I'd like to think this would be the case for everyone but it won't be if we refer back to what i've just written above.

I didn't realise how much I needed to be heard. I entered the room and there were loads of senior members of staff in there. The accused didn't bother turning up and that just about sums him up in one sentence, "HE DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TURNING UP!" What an absolute joke.

No lawyer thought he was worth defending based on the evidence against him so a work colleague defended him. I was grilled, I was accused of lying, conspiring with another female member of staff, conspiring with my own husband. The person tried to trip me up, the line of questioning felt very wrong. This was my colleague. Hold on, don't we have a campaign tackling Violence against Women and Girls (VAWG). Why did I feel like there was a lot of victim blaming and shaming going on. I was asked why it took me so long to report the incident to anyone. Why didn't I challenge his poor behaviour at work? If the 'so called assault' had been so bad why didn't I go home that night, why did I stay out, why did none of the people who I mentioned in my statement remember seeing me fight back, shouting and screaming (probably because that didn't happen and was made up by the defence). I didn't shout or scream but I did grab his face and have a word and oh yes, my colleagues were all pretty drunk at the time. Why did I tell people about the assault? eh what? did you not just ask me why I didn't report it.

So let me explain, I did try to report it, but no one listened to me. Another question, "Are you sure you can remember exactly what happened since you were drinking alcohol that night and the amount of time that has lapsed since the assault, are you sure this actually happened?" Number one - I was stone cold sober and number two - the assault is as clear in my head as if it happened this morning.

Wow, again, no wonder people don't report sexual assault, or anything for that matter, the way we are treated on the stand is appalling - they may as well have just called me a liar out loud, I felt that the defence showed themselves up, dug themselves into a lot of deep holes. I thought to myself, no, the suspect is in a hole and I am happily filling the soil back in, burying him deeper and deeper.

It takes bravery to speak up about a sexual assault or crime, any little comment along the journey can set you back, make you think people don't believe you, confidence levels plummet. There's so much to think about, it's bad enough having to talk about it. You'll come up against people who think you shouldn't complain, tell you it will damage your reputation if you carry on, just plain ignore that you've told them that you were assaulted, act like it's not their problem ....... this was the reception I faced! ........ and the worst part in all, these were comments and views from my Police colleagues. The people that I stand side by side with, everyday, trying to support and tackle and log crimes. I was disappointed and appalled by their attitudes.

I listened to their negativity and witnessed first hand the lack of support but I carried on, every negative comment spurred me on, it fed my need to be heard. I told myself that i'll get through this without them and that's exactly what I had to do and it felt liberating.

For me it was part of the process and closes the door on that horrible man and allow me to move on with my life.

I eventually told the right person and finally I was listened to and it was escalated to the PSD which stands for Police Standards Department. Those initial conversations I had with people in the first hours and days after the incident happed had been dismissed, forgotten about and I came to accept that I had to be strong and fight it on my own. This shouldn't be the case but it was for me.

There are many dedicated groups, Police officers and organisations that will listen to you and will offer support and if you're not listened to, don't give up, keep on telling people and the right ones will scoop you up and help you.

PS he got sacked and yes he was a Police officer. The ones that do this are slowly being exposed, dealt with and removed.

This is my experience and i'm still a Police officer in the same force, some say I should have walked but I don't believe that would achieve anything. 99% of my colleagues hold the same beliefs and values as I do. It's why we Police, to protect the vulnerable and deal robustly with people committing crime. We will support you and if you don't feel you can approach the Police there is a list of other agencies that can offer help below.

Don't let my story scare you or put you off, it finally came good for me, be strong, seek support and take control, we are stronger together x

Getting help

If you are in immediate danger or it's an emergency call 999.

You can make an appointment to see your doctor, they will be able to signpost you to help, the appointment will also act as a record if you need to take something to court, if you are injured, the injuries can be documented with your consent.

'Injury capture' app - download from Google and App stores

An app that lets you record injuries sustained during domestic violence.

If you can't add the app to your phone because of safety reasons, ask a trusted friend to keep the app on their phone.

'Bright Sky' app

Looks like a weather app on your phone but once opened takes you to a supportive webpage that lets you document incidents, capture images, seek advice and get support in your area.

If you would like to report an offence then contact your local Police force.

They will be able to guide you through the process and go through your options, our first and main priority is your safety and wellbeing.

Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge

0808 200 0247

www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

Institute for Addressing Strangulation (ifas.org.uk )

www.ifas.org.uk

Refuge - National Domestic Abuse Helpline

0808 200 0247

www.refuge.org.uk

Galop (for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people)

National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline