The cherry picker - ex number one

Sep 25, 2024

8 min read

The older me is already disappointed and I've only just begun to think back over my memories.

Sixteen and no experience with boys, I think i'd kissed someone at that stage but that was it. Up until that point in my life i'd been trying to get by as a teenager growing up in what I felt was an unsupportive world, exams and not enjoying school, friends that were actually quite nasty who spent more time bullying than being a friend, arguments with parents the list went on. I had no time for the opposite sex as I battled my way through life. So when a lad wearing skimpy cycling shorts, with tanned limbs and a charming smile came over to me in the under 18s club at the end of one hot Summer and spoke to me, I was potentially already hooked.

His opening line "alright Ben?", I looked blankly and said nothing. "Alright Ben, Ben Elton, you alright?". I didn't have a clue what he was on about . "Your t-shirt has got Benetton written on the front of it, Ben Elton, Benetton, get it?". Oh god, what a knob, hopefully he'll walk off and leave me alone. He didn't leave though, he carried on firing jokes at me until I finally broke and a wave of giggles engulfed me, I was putty in his hands.

I was as naïve as they come and had no idea what his next move would be but it didn't take long. Suddenly he had my hand and he was leading me to the coat room, no idea where the woman had gone who gave you a ticket in exchange for your coat but she'd left the room unmanned and he took his chance. Manned coat cupboards were a thing back then and it worked pretty darn well. He sat down on the floor and gestured that I was to sit next to him so I did. Whoa, slow down man, what the hell is happening, no no no no no.

Yes, he whips out his manhood from his shorts, looking very proud of himself and offered it to me. Me frantically looking around for the elusive coat cupboard woman who hadn't reappeared, it was the end of Summer so maybe there just wasn't a need for her that day but right at that moment I need help as I was out of my depth and had no idea what I was supposed to be doing, no idea at all. He took my hand and guided it onto his penis. Yes, the skin was soft and warm and didn't feel unpleasant but it wasn't happening, i'd only just met the lad and thinking about it, where did my friends go, why had no one come to find me?

He sensed my discomfort and put himself away, the relief I felt. Something positive during that brief interaction must of happened because he didn't leave my side for the rest of the night. I even got a piggyback ride after the club. Yeah, it made me feel special, a decent looking lad showing me a lot of attention and I liked it. The last bus home was at 11pm, before I left he took the opportunity to invite me to his dad's flat a few days later and of course I said yes.

That day came around pretty fast, his dad and brother were out and for him it was a perfect setting to have his way with me. I can't remember being offered a drink, or food or even chatting that much. What I do remember is the layout of the tiny lounge with the kitchen in the corner, the TV being on, the ironing board in the middle of the room where his dad had been ironing a shirt before going out that night, the smell of aftershave choking the room.

The TV is turned off and he suggests a game of doctors and patients. What a terrible idea, not only did I hate drama at school but my body had started to shut down and didn't want to move, i'd also lost the power of speech as the fear of the unknown swept over my body. I hadn't been drugged, I was overcome by anxiety and didn't want to start acting or playing his game in any way shape or form.

He suggested that I was the patient and that suited me fine, i'd just pretend to be dead. I'm placed face down onto the sofa and he asks me a few random medical questions. Is this really what dating is? A few more medical questions focused on my buttocks and legs which are then exposed. I just lay there, frozen to the spot holding my breath, thoughts flying around my mind.

Still face down, no words being spoken, a mixture of fear, embarrassment and pure bewilderment, I felt a short sharp pain as his penis entered me. He starts to push in and out a few times, I start to inhale, taking in what's happening to me, I tried to push my upper body up using my arms but he was holding them down. I twisted my head to the side and all I could think to say was "are you even using anything?".

I have no memory of how long it lasted but it stopped and he got off me and told me to go to the bathroom and sort myself out. I told him I didn't need to but he repeated himself and told me to go. I got up and rushed to the little bathroom, sat on the toilet and was horrified to see blood down the inside of my legs and in my pants. I was in there for ages trying to blot the blood in my pants and wipe it from my legs. How long could I stay in there before he came knocking.

Did I give him my consent to have sex with me? - hell no

Was I expecting it to happen? - not at all i'd only known him for a few days

Did I tell anyone? - Who was I going to tell, I didn't have a good relationship with my parents to be able to open up to them about what had happened, my sister was much younger than me so wouldn't understand. My friends were bullies, I hated school so telling a teacher was out of the question. So I had no one. In the end I didn't need to tell anyone because he did, he told my friends that we'd sealed the deal. Was I then to think that we were a couple?

My so called friends started to spread rumours about me, wrote things on their school bags about me, told as many people as they could about what had happened. I felt alone and disappointed with them and myself. It caused me so much distress that my periods stopped, after twelve weeks one of the mums booked an appointment for me to get a test at the hospital. Another private situation that didn't need an audience but there they were, my so called friends and his friends waiting for me to come out of the cubical with the news they all wanted to hear ...... that I was pregnant.

I wasn't pregnant! I explained the whole situation to the nurse who told me that the stress of it all could have temporarily stopped my period and within a few days of the negative test result came the long awaited period.

He stayed in my life for a good few years as an on/off boyfriend, why? I will never know. I later found out that other girls, some slightly younger than me had been in similar situations with him. He'd also made a beeline for the Summer exchange students who came for two weeks at a time, it was a conveyor belt of virgins.

I found it heart-breaking and strengthening at the same time. Heart-breaking because at the end of the day I had feelings for him, I wanted him to be with me, had I gone through of all that for nothing, did I mean anything to him, if I tried to move on he'd be in the background, approaching me in clubs when I was with my new boyfriend, trying to speak to him, throwing me looks, squeezing between us both in an attempt to display his masculinity. He made me feel worthless and he used me, I was never his girlfriend, just someone he had sex with.

I started to feel stronger and started to say no to him. Each time I heard another story about him, see another girl in distress because of his actions I was able to step away from him.

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